Advice to my younger self.


Dear Younger Self.

Now that I’m 31, I have some things to say to you

First go study. Don’t wait until your late 20’s. You are much smarter than you think. You have the potential. Just because you didn’t do so well in school doesn’t mean that your dumb. You’ll be able to pass both your degrees with distinction just go for it.

Stop telling yourself you are fat and ugly. Wait until your 26 then you’ll know what is fat. Stop complaining and do something about it. Get in the gym now so that I don’t have to work so hard later. You are still young and beautiful enjoy that and stop being so negative, I’m still trying to clean up after your mess.

Stop buying on credit. By the time you’ve paid off that little blue dress you won’t even be wearing it anymore. That dress isn’t really worth it in any case, so don’t even buy it. If you start saving now, you’ll be able to afford the things you really want later and you won’t worry about your old age so much.

Love your husband more, he really is a keeper. And spend more time with your family. Soon some of them won’t be there anymore. Also visit Julian more, one of these days he’s going to Korea and then you won’t see him for 4 years.

I would hope that you will follow my advice but as we both know, it’s already too late


Sincerely yours

Your future self.


Someone I see myself with in the future

When I was 16 years old I went to a 24 hour dance marathon hosted by our church with my best friend. When we walked into the dance hall there was a beautiful blond guy standing on the stage. He wasn’t alone but I only saw him. He had long blond hair that sort of hung in his face. And Ice blue eyes that reminded me of the ocean.

While I was dancing I stole looks at him ever so often. I left my water bottle at the bottom of the stage so that I could take a glimpse of him every time I drink water. He was really gorgeous but I was too shy to talk to him or even try and make a move.

About  4 hours into the dance marathon one of the girls in my school came to talk to me. She was in the class above mine but also lived in our area and went to the same church. She said that the beautiful blond wanted to dance with me. I was ecstatic. So we danced the rest of the night.

When it was time to go home he asked me for a kiss and I stood there with my eyes closed and my lips puckered… and his friend laughed at me…. I felt really embarrassed but the beautiful blond gave me a tender kiss on my lips. Seven years later we got married.

We’ve been married for eight years and although we’ve had our ups and downs I truly love him and can’t live without him. I hope that we will stay this happy until the end of days.


The rock my life is built on.

The death of my aunt and mother a few years ago had a massive impact on my life. My mother was diagnosed with a brain tumour. It wasn’t going very well with her. She has already had 2 major brain surgeries to remove the tumour but it has come back for the third time. My mother was very confused about her surroundings and then all of a sudden her youngest sister , my aunt, died. My aunt was only 34 years old when she died. I spoke to her on the phone on Thursday and by the next Tuesday she had collapsed at work and was unable to open her eyes. She died 20 days later of a brain aneurysm. This was one of the hardest times in my life. Its easier when you know someone is going to die, rather than losing them suddenly. I remember that my mother was so confused at my aunts funeral that she asked my dad “Why are they throwing sand on my sister?” She realised but also didn’t realise  what the situation was. My mother died two years later at the age of a mere 50.

What happened to them made me decide that I wanted to live a healthy life. They both died really young and I didn’t want to die at a young age.

Through all this sadness I had one person who really stood by me, he laughed when I laughed and cried when I cried. He helped me make and achieve goals when I felt that I never wanted to love anyone again. Sometimes I was so sad that life had no meaning but he showed me the meaning of my life, he made me want to live again. He is my husband.