Fake it till you make it

One of the most valuable sayings I’ve ever learned was ‘Fake it till you make it’. The first time I came across this phrase was in ‘Superflirt‘ a book by psychologist and relationship expert Tracy Cox. In her book she suggested that you should ‘fake’ being confident by acting confident. Its all about body language and the message you send to the world.


It comes from the idea that if we’re having a bad day, we will frown, slouch our shoulders, avoid eye contact and maybe even wear black or dark clothes to represent our mood, but if you walk tall, wear bright clothes and smile a lot you are most likely feeling confident about yourself and other people will notice this. What others think of us may not be important to you but it will determine how they approach us.



Don’t get me wrong, ‘faking’ it does not mean that you are fake or that you are no longer yourself. It requires a few small changes in the messages your body sends to the world. By faking it for a while, your body will get use to the changes and your mind will follow. Over time you will become the confident self-assured person you are ‘pretending’ to be.

Fake it till you make it is a principle that I have applied in my life personally and although I also sometimes have my down and out days. Acting more confident and self assured helps me to have the confidence to do things I might otherwise have not done.

Simple tips to boost your own confidence

Smile. Don’t fake the smile. Make it genuine. The kind that reaches from the corner of your lips all the way to your eyes.

Eye contact. Try and keep eye contact with the person you’re talking to. Also if you are intending to talk to someone, make direct eye contact and hold it there for a few seconds.

Get your head up. When you’re walking don’t stare at the ground, there is nothing but dirt there ( unless you’re walking somewhere dangerous of course :p). Pull your shoulders up and back. Stop slouching and you will already start feeling more confident.


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