The lonely Expat Christmas

When choosing to leave your home country to live in another country, it all sounds really exiting and cool. Truth be told, it is mostly cool and exiting. But then sometimes, its not…

When you leave your home for whatever reason, there will be some unforeseen troubles along the way. Things that will make you miss home. Or sometimes you’ll just need a hug, but there will be no-one to hug you.

One of the things that you need to consider is whether or not you’re willing to give up the precious time that you have with loved ones. One of life’s infinite truths are that we will all die. Its inevitable that someone you know will leave this world, and depending on how long you’re away from home, you might not be there in their final hours of need.

It is a choice that you will have to make before you leave home. You could have spend a few precious moments with that person and you didn’t. But just because you can’t be there in person, make sure that you are there for them in different ways. Remember to call home ever so often. Send Christmas and Birthday gifts. Show them that you care for them even though you’re not there.

One of the things that we have to live with is having no one for Christmas. This year Christmas falls on a Sunday meaning that our Christmas holiday isn’t long enough for us to visit our families. They might put a few minutes aside for us during a Skype call but after that, we’re all alone again, and if they forget to call then you’re whole Christmas is ruined.

This Christmas, remember your loved one in far off distant lands, whether you’re the one away from home, or them. Give them  a call or send them a little card just to say I LOVE & MISS YOU!!!!

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Advice to my younger self.

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Dear Younger Self.

Now that I’m 31, I have some things to say to you

First go study. Don’t wait until your late 20’s. You are much smarter than you think. You have the potential. Just because you didn’t do so well in school doesn’t mean that your dumb. You’ll be able to pass both your degrees with distinction just go for it.

Stop telling yourself you are fat and ugly. Wait until your 26 then you’ll know what is fat. Stop complaining and do something about it. Get in the gym now so that I don’t have to work so hard later. You are still young and beautiful enjoy that and stop being so negative, I’m still trying to clean up after your mess.

Stop buying on credit. By the time you’ve paid off that little blue dress you won’t even be wearing it anymore. That dress isn’t really worth it in any case, so don’t even buy it. If you start saving now, you’ll be able to afford the things you really want later and you won’t worry about your old age so much.

Love your husband more, he really is a keeper. And spend more time with your family. Soon some of them won’t be there anymore. Also visit Julian more, one of these days he’s going to Korea and then you won’t see him for 4 years.

I would hope that you will follow my advice but as we both know, it’s already too late

 

Sincerely yours

Your future self.

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My family

Today I would like to share my family with you. I have chosen a picture from my wedding back in 2007. It is one of the last photo’s I have of my mother still alive and well, with  the rest of our nuclear family. It is also at that time that we added more family members to our little family.

The first picture is of my parents. The second is of my husbands’ parents and the last picture is of us and our brothers.

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The rock my life is built on.

The death of my aunt and mother a few years ago had a massive impact on my life. My mother was diagnosed with a brain tumour. It wasn’t going very well with her. She has already had 2 major brain surgeries to remove the tumour but it has come back for the third time. My mother was very confused about her surroundings and then all of a sudden her youngest sister , my aunt, died. My aunt was only 34 years old when she died. I spoke to her on the phone on Thursday and by the next Tuesday she had collapsed at work and was unable to open her eyes. She died 20 days later of a brain aneurysm. This was one of the hardest times in my life. Its easier when you know someone is going to die, rather than losing them suddenly. I remember that my mother was so confused at my aunts funeral that she asked my dad “Why are they throwing sand on my sister?” She realised but also didn’t realise  what the situation was. My mother died two years later at the age of a mere 50.

What happened to them made me decide that I wanted to live a healthy life. They both died really young and I didn’t want to die at a young age.

Through all this sadness I had one person who really stood by me, he laughed when I laughed and cried when I cried. He helped me make and achieve goals when I felt that I never wanted to love anyone again. Sometimes I was so sad that life had no meaning but he showed me the meaning of my life, he made me want to live again. He is my husband.

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